Inniscarra Sailing & Kayaking Club
Inniscarra Sailing & Kayaking Club
Inishleena, Inniscarra, County Cork, Ireland    www.CorkSailing.com    info@corksailing.com

 
 
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Inniscarra Sailing
& Kayaking Club,
Inishleena,
Inniscarra,
County Cork

Cumann Seoltóireachta
& Cadhcála Inis Cara,
Inis Loinge,
Inis Cara,
Contae Chorcaí

Copyright © 2011-2013
Inniscarra Sailing
& Kayaking Club
All rights reserved.
Latitude 51º54'19.79"N
Longitude 8º41'58.23"W
 
 
Some Sailing Jokes



How to be a great skipper

Once upon a time there was a famous and successful sea captain. Admired by his crew and fellow captains, he was a brilliant navigator and guided merchant ships all over the world through stormy seas, pirate infested waters, coral reefs, past all sorts of navigational hazards and through the busiest harbours in the world.

However, there was one unusual thing about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe.

In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the piece of paper for a minute, then lock it back in the safe and then go about his daily duties.

For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. What was on the piece of paper? Was it a treasure map? Was it a love letter? Everyone wondered about the contents of the strange envelope.

One day the captain died at sea. After lowering the captain's body to the deep, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain's quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...

The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines:

  Port = Left
Starboard = Right




The Magician and the Parrot

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:

"Look, it's not the same hat."

"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table."

"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot.

One day the ship hit a rock and sank. The magician found himself adrift on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another, and another.

After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. What did you do with the ship?"



Some Funny YouTube Videos










Some Kayaking Jokes



Kayaking Respect

Three old men are sitting in their kayaks, fishing a cove, on a quiet Sunday morning when a funeral procession drives by. One of the old men takes off his hat & puts it over his heart. The procession winds its way around the cove and disappears over a hill. The old man puts his hat back on and continues fishing.

One of the other old timers says "Geeze Ed, that was a thoughtful thing to do."Ed replies "It was the least I could do after 49 years of marriage."



Mum knows best

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your brother!!!" a mother screams.

"Where is he?" shouts her son

Mum replies "If he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."
 

Copyright © 2011-2013 Inniscarra Sailing & Kayaking Club, All rights reserved.


This is the website is for Inniscarra Sailing and Kayaking Club. If you were looking for Eddie English's SailCork website then click here to visit SailCork.com. If you were searching for another Cork sailing, kayaking or watersport website, then try on our links page. We are a non-profit club promoting Dinghy Sailing, Radio Sailing and Kayaking on Inniscarra Lake in County Cork, Ireland



 


Thanks to our supporters
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CHMarine




IrishPsychology.com




International Flooring
Brands Ltd




Freefoam
Building Products




Electricty Supply Board




Wain Morehead Architects




Cobbler Holiday Cottage
Rosscarbery.eu



Union Chandlery


ISA
Irish Sailing Association