Once upon a time there was a famous and successful sea captain. Admired by his crew and fellow captains, he was a brilliant navigator and guided merchant ships all over the world through stormy seas, pirate infested waters, coral reefs, past all sorts of navigational hazards and through the busiest harbours in the world.
However, there was one unusual thing about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe.
In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the piece of paper for a minute, then lock it back in the safe and then go about his daily duties.
For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. What was on the piece of paper? Was it a treasure map? Was it a love letter? Everyone wondered about the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After lowering the captain's body to the deep, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain's quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...
The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines:
Port = Left
Starboard = Right
The Magician and the Parrot
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week,
so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem:
The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat."
"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot.
One day the ship hit a rock and sank. The magician found himself adrift on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean
with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then
another, and another.
After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. What did you do with the ship?"
Some Funny YouTube Videos
Some Kayaking Jokes
Three old men are sitting in their kayaks, fishing a cove, on a quiet Sunday morning when a funeral procession drives by. One of the old men takes off his hat & puts it over his heart.
The procession winds its way around the cove and disappears over a hill. The old man puts his hat back on and continues fishing.
One of the other old timers says "Geeze Ed, that was a thoughtful thing to do."Ed replies "It was the least I could do after 49 years of marriage."
Mum knows best
"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your brother!!!" a mother screams.
"Where is he?" shouts her son
Mum replies "If he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."
This is the website is for Inniscarra Sailing and Kayaking Club. If you were looking for Eddie English's SailCork website then click here to visit SailCork.com. If you were searching for another Cork sailing, kayaking or watersport website, then try on our links page. We are a non-profit club promoting Dinghy Sailing, Radio Sailing and Kayaking on Inniscarra Lake in County Cork, Ireland